Living peacefully in our unquiet world requires only a little willingness at first. The idea of peace has appeal and that allows it to take root. Gradually, with practice, letting go of anger, judgment, and fear becomes more habitual and the scope for being peaceful grows. This personal practice becomes daily, then hourly, and eventually moment to moment. That’s as far as I’ve gotten. What I have learned from others is that from there, one ultimately lets go of fear altogether and simply becomes peace. On the one hand, that sounds good to me! But on the other hand, in the words of Juba, Djimon Housou’s character in the film, Gladiator, “Not yet, not yet.”

I grew up in a Christian household. My father was Catholic and did his best to raise my siblings and me Catholic. My mother became a Jehovah’s Witness when I was a girl. Through her influence, I read the Bible and attended meetings. Things came to a head for me in my late teens and I decided Christianity was not for me. In the mid-1990s, I was introduced to eastern philosophy in a yoga class in New York City. The studio, YogaZone, was founded by Yogiraj Alan Finger, who trained his teachers to impart ancient ideas foundational to the practice of yoga. Although I had never before heard any of these ideas, I instantly resonated to them. I read the yoga sutras and other books about yoga and meditation and I began to meditate regularly.

When I later moved to Massachusetts, I meditated with a Dzogchen sangha in Cambridge founded by Lama Surya Das. His book, Awakening the Buddha Within, dovetailed beautifully with what I had learned during my time in New York. The Buddhist tradition taught by Lama Surya Das places a strong emphasis on love. It also teaches that enlightenment is available to everyone. Around this time, I also connected with the writings and teachings of other Buddhist teachers, like Sharon Salzberg, John Kabat-Zinn, and Jack Kornfield. Although I cannot remember exactly what prompted me to begin to notice my thoughts of judgment, I know for certain that I began this practice through embracing mindful awareness. Present moment awareness can be practiced looking outward and looking inward. Learning to be mindful and letting go of judgment have been truly transformative for me.

A few years later, I moved 26 miles away from Cambridge and so I looked for an eastern wisdom tradition closer to home. I was able to attend Qigong classes taught by Gordon Keir, a student of Emei Qigong Grandmaster Fu Wei Zhong. I practiced with Gordon for some years and even met Grandmaster Fu at a weekend-long training. One of the things that stands out from that time is learning from Gordon that he tasked himself with forgiving instantly. For myself, that seemed a truly far off goal. It turned out that I had not yet encountered the teaching that would help bring ‘instant’ forgiveness within my reach.

In 2011, a colleague told me about Gary Renard’s book, The Disappearance of the Universe. The book was a wild ride, to say the least. At the same time, it was a very gentle and accessible introduction to A Course in Miracles. Not long after reading Gary’s book, I moved from Massachusetts to Denver, Colorado. In Denver, I attended a bi-monthly group led by Chris Dixon-Bubick at the Rocky Mountain Miracles Center. We read and discussed A Course in Miracles and listened to the teachings of Dr. Kenneth Wapnick, a great scholar and teacher of the Course. The group provided me with just the support I needed in doing the Workbook Lessons and reading the text. Since leaving Denver, I have continued to stay connected to Gary’s and Ken’s teachings mostly through recorded workshops. Yet what has been key to experiencing more peace is practicing what the Course teaches, day to day.